Emmett's Crumpet Adventure!
by X. The Marauders .X
Summary: yet another product of admin boredom, inspired by our wonderful music teacher, The Crumpet! Emmett goes nuts and crumpet hilarity ensues... enter for flying crumpets!


**Disclaimer: nope, we dont own this, not ours, nor do we make any profit...**

**So Prongs, heres the latest product of ADMIN boredom eh?**

**Good point. I guess maybe I shouldnt have tried to steal the keyboard from you. Word of advice people, NEVER STEAL FROM MOONY!**

**MWA HA HA HA! Dam right you are Prongs! So here we have Emmett's Crumpet Adventure, any thing else i should say Prongs?**

***Is hiding under desk* Nothing I can think of. Enjoy the fanfic peeps.**

**Hugs and curses, Prongs.**

**Moony out.**

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Emmett ran through the house, "BUNNIES!!!" he screamed in terror, "THE BUNNIES ARE AFTER ME!!!"

Carlisle and Edward looked at each other. "Oh my God,' Edward muttered. 'Here we go again."

"What's going on?" Bella asked, "What do you mean again?"

It was Carlisle who answered. "He does this occasionally. All you can do is try to restrain him."

"Restrain him??"

"Yes, Bella. Restrain him." Edward said.

"But how do you restrain a strong as all hell vampire?" Bella asked, confused.

Carlisle and Edward grinned. "Drug him" they said together.

"What the hell do you use to drug a vampire?! Vampires can be drugged?!" Bella said.

"Yes, we can be drugged, but don't get any ideas." Edward replied. "as for what we use, it's a rare poison."

"Idea's? What idea's?" Bella laughed, "So exactly how often is occasionally?"

"You know, every few decades or so…" Carlisle said.

"Oh, okay then." Bella answered. "And what poison is it? If it's so rare, how can you get your hands on it?"

"Well, lets just say that Jasper can be verrrrry convincing when he wants to be." Edward said. As if on cue, Jasper stepped into the room.

"Someone call?" He asked.

"Yes, actually, we did." Carlisle said. "Emmett is having one of his episodes…."

"Oh."

"Yes, oh," Edward said, smiling. "You don't happen to have any of that poison do you?"

"It won't work." Alice said, voice bleak. "The fit's too bad."

"What do you mean it won't bloody… agh!" Edward screeched. He blinked slowly a few times, looking rather stupid, a crumpet stuck to the side of his face. Bella giggled.

"What the bloody hell was that!" Edward demanded. But he didn't need an answer. Emmett burst into the room holding a toaster in one hand and a nearly full bag of crumpets in the other.

"HOO-RAH!" He yelled. "TAKE THAT RABBIT SCUM!"

"Oh great, he found that modified toaster…" Jasper groaned.

"I thought you were going to destroy it." Carlisle muttered, quirking an eyebrow at Jasper in a way that always made Bella giggle.

"I tried, but every time I went to leave the house, Emmett was waiting. I tell you, if I was human, I would have had bruises on every part of my body. And I mean EVERY part."

Carlisle winced. "Ouch."

"Yep." Jasper nodded wryly.

"Um…" Bella interrupted, "So what do we do about Emmett then?"

"We stay out of his way and wait it out." Esme said, arriving in the door way. "Carlisle, be a dear and help me hide the good china, Jasper, take the dining room table somewhere Emmett cant get to it and the rest of you hide your favourite possessions."

"Yes Ma'am." Carlisle said, snapping a salute. Jasper hit him over the head. The two of them raced each other out of the room, while the others followed more slowly.

"Are they always like that?" Bella asked Esme.

"Yes dear, but it's getting worse as they age."

"Oh." Bella looked a little confused. "Ok."

"AAAGGGHHH!!!" Esme and Bella jumped at the sudden noise. They both rushed over to the window to see none other than Emmett. Running around the lawn in circles carrying a burlap sack over one shoulder.

Then, he disappeared. "Uh oh." Esme said, "CARLISLE!!!" She called. He reappeared beside her.

"What is it?" he sighed. "All the china's hidden, Jasper moved the table. What's Emmett done?"

"We don't know." Bella explained. "We just saw him running around in circles on the lawn, carrying a burlap sack, then he disappeared. We have no clue where he went."

Then Emmett reappeared. The burlap sack now seemed to have something inside it, and that something was moving.

"Emmett, son, why don't you show me what you have there?" Carlisle asked, in a low soothing voice.

Emmett proudly tipped the contents of the sack out onto the floor. To everyone's surprise, Mike Newton toppled out.

"Ok, why the hell is Mike Newton in our house?" Edward asked, appearing in the doorway.

"Emmett," said Carlisle, sounding like he was talking to a misbehaving two-year-old. "What have you done?"

Emmett saluted Carlisle and tipped his non-existent hat to Esme. "I've captured the enemy commander Sir." He said.

"Er." Carlisle seemed at loss for words at this point. "Why?"

"Because without him the rabbits wont stand a chance against our crumpet thrower 101! Oh no! But what if the chipmunks have joined the campaign!?" Emmett said, going from proud to worried. "I'll go and secure more amo!" He rushed out of the room before anyone could stop him.

"Erm… and what about me?" Mike said, still lying in a heap on the floor.

"Oh yes, what about you?" Esme asked.

"I'll deal with it." Edward said. He led Mike to the door and kicked him out. Literally.

"All done."

"I hope you were polite Edward." Esme said, sounding just like a mum.

"Ummm…"

"AHA!!" Shouted Emmett, reappearing. "You are in cahoots with the enemy! How could you do this to me?!" He fell to the floor, sobbing loudly.

"Jasper?" Edward requested.

"I'd love to." Jasper took a step forward and landed a blow to the back of Emmett's neck, the sobbing ceased and Emmett went limp.

"Vampires can be knocked out now?!?! Why does no one tell me these things!?" Bella shrieked.

"Oh Jasper, I didn't mean for you to knock him out." Edward sighed, he went to try and consol a very confused Bella.

"Well, I guess there's nothing to do but wait until he comes round again." Carlisle said.

"Cleaning time!" Esme sang out.

Carlisle, Edward, Jasper and Bella, glanced at each other and ran for the door.

"I was only joking." Esme said. "No point in starting now, he'll only make more mess when he wakes up."

"Anyone for crumpets?" Carlisle asked. They all stared at him. "What? Follow me."

They all trooped downstairs to find the house literally over flowing with crumpets and Rosalie, looking rather stunned, standing in the middle of it all.

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**Ok, Prongs is now out from under the desk, for now anyways... so you have to tell us what you think ok? PLEASE!! *makes puppy dog eyes at readers *******

**Pretty please R&R. Oh, and I'm not going under that desk again any time soon. Chewing gum issues. *shudders***

**Ew... Rightio, weve taken up enough of your time, reveiw us and Prongs will be happy!!**

**Moony out.**

**Quit putting words in my mouth, i can speak for myself. Please review. Ta.**

**Hugs and curses, Prongs**


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